I for one, am sick to death of people blaming technology for problems in their relationships. If you were married and found your husband cheating on you in a bar, would you blame the bar? If you caught him having sex with another woman in the back of a car, would you blame the car?  If he met someone at work and fell in love, would you blame his employer? Of course not, and yet that’s what the media seems to *LOVE* doing when someone has an online affair.

The most recent media frenzy of this nature revolves around this story on the CNN website right now.  Here’s the short version:

* A couple met online in 2003 in an internet chatroom
* In 2005, this couple was married
* Recently, the woman caught the man cheating on her in Second Life and they are now separated and divorcing.

If this had happened offline, it’d be just another marriage that didn’t work out, but because he cheated on her in a virtual world, the media seems to love to portray it as something ‘imaginary’ or ‘pretend’. To quote the article:

“A British couple who married in a lavish Second Life wedding ceremony are to divorce after one of them had an alleged “affair” in the online world. Amy Taylor, 28, said she had caught husband David Pollard, 40, having sex with an animated woman. The couple, who met in an Internet chatroom in 2003, are now separated.”

What’s with the quotation marks around “affair”? Is that because people think an affair isn’t real if it happens online? If there’s no physical touching then it’s not really cheating? I’m fairly sure that’s up for discussion and you’ll get a lot of different opinions on the subject – just ask Bill Clinton.

What really bothers me, is that people still seem to think that things that happen in chatrooms or in virtual worlds aren’t real. I assure you, they are VERY real.  Web 2.0 is as powerful as it is because we are dealing with real people. We’re talking to each other, sharing personal details, connecting with each other, and forming communities and relationships – all very real things.

I may sound as though I’m rambling on this topic, but as someone who has met lifelong friends (including my husband) in an internet chatroom, and several other close friends in a virtual world, I know these relationships are very real.  There is nothing ‘imaginary’ about online relationships just as there is nothing imaginary about relationships that begin offline.

Second Life is not responsible for the divorce of this couple -  An unhappy marriage is responsible for the divorce of this couple. Let’s stop mentioning technology in articles like these when we’re really just talking about real problems that a lot of couples face.  We’re not doing anyone a favor by making snide comments about online relationships.