I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the line between personal and professional and what that means. Actually, I’m not sure that line even exists for me – I’m not sure it’s possible.

When I think about the position I have, the job I do, the life I lead … it all blends together. I think that 3 years ago I could have easily said that there was a vast difference between my personal and professional lives, but only because I was in a position that didn’t relate at all to the things I did in my free time or the things I was passionate about.  I think in positions like that, it’s really easy to have a divide.

In my current position, I’m active personally and professional all day long on social networks. I work on projects that I’m passionate about, and I express my art and my creativity in every project I do – as part of my job. I wonder though, how it’s possible to separate that from who I am personally.  If we strive to have positions that inspire us, and make us want to do wonderful things, aren’t those positions then inherently things that are part of who we are? Don’t we always hear people say that to find the perfect job you should do what you love? What happens when you find that perfect job and do what you love, and then your life bleeds into one identity?

It reminds me of a TED talk I watched recently about having fun and being serious and the line between those things. I’ve felt the same way in my life at different times so I could easily connect with what Paula Scher was saying.

I know a lot of people with separate personal/professional profiles on social networks because it’s important to them to have that separation. I have generally avoided that because I feel – again – that I *am* what I do, and to attempt to separate those things will only lead to confusion and a feeling of constant questioning and being overwhelmed. I think the power of social networks is that we do learn about the personal things – I have a much stronger connection to you if I know the stupid little things about you. I dig knowing what you eat for breakfast, or what you’re reading or what you’re doing this weekend. I connect with that much more than hearing you only talk about your job, and where you’re headed for your next conference.

As we do more and more work that we love for someone else, are we losing ourselves in the process? If it’s our art, our creative energy, and our ideas – when does it belong to us and when does it belong to the person signing our paychecks?  Are we sacrificing our own brand for the sake of another? Are we selling our souls in exchange for doing what we love on a daily basis? How can we each develop our own personal brand if we’re under the umbrella of another brand? At times I feel that if I want to express my true feelings and opinions I have to do so in some completely anonymous way so that I don’t affect “the brand” in a negative way because my personal identity is so connected to my professional.

The more we focus on innovation and getting the right people in the right positions doing things they’re passionate about, will we see more and more of personal and professional bleeding into one? I know that I can’t separate that anymore and I’m willing to bet that a lot of other people out there feel the same way and have the same challenges. It’s a struggle for me.

I recently got a new job and things have dramatically changed since then.. including my thinking and views on certain things. In my old position, my ‘work’ was very structured and there was no real room for creativity. There was a certain set of things to get done every week and as long as that list was done, all was well with the world.

In this job.. it’s different. In this job I have the freedom to be creative, to explore, learn, network and grow. I cannot tell you how incredibly thankful I am for that. I love having the opportunity to do things I love and feel passionate about.  On the other hand, this job also comes with similar ’structured’ responsibilities like academically advising over 100 veteran military students.  I need to be there for them, help them with course selection, financial aid, problems with registration, etc.  Customer service is of huge importance to me.. I think it can make all the difference in the world to a student. I work really hard to stay caught up on my student work and know exactly who my students are at all times and help them with whatever I can. I also love *that* aspect of my job.

Here’s the problem/dilemma/situation.. whatever you want to call it. These two areas of my current position are very different. Right brain and left brain, really. On one hand I need to be logical, structured and a problem-solver and on the other, I need to be creative, innovative, artistic, networking and learning.  Balancing these two areas seems to be more of a challenge as each day passes.

I watch/read/follow people that are also working in new environments, creating new experiences, using technology in amazingly innovative ways.. and I feel as though I’m falling behind. I feel like it’s becoming more and more difficult to keep up when I’m struggling to do everything I can for my students. With all of the new technologies out there, it’s a challenge just to keep up on those on a daily basis, let alone actually get a chance to use, experiment and learn from them.

There are days where I feel as though I’m truly flipping a switch in my brain to move from one area of my job to the other, and more and more I feel as though I’m not doing a great job in either one.  The creative aspect means so much to me. I long to be artistic and creative and use the talents I have to make things that I think will matter and will mean something to people that use it. On the other hand, students matter. Without students and without my help we have nothing and none of the rest of it means anything at all.

I do wonder, sometimes.. how people do it. I feel as though with a full-time job, three kids, and a marriage that just making it through the day in one piece is a challenge. It amazes me when I see other people with children and the same sorts of responsibilities that I have that talk about papers they’re submitting,  conferences they’re attending, keynotes they’re giving, and research they’re doing – constantly. I wonder how they do it and still feel as though they’re in control and on top of it all.  I wonder how they still feel connected to their families, or that they’re doing a great job. I wonder if they feel – like I do sometimes – that all the joy of what we do, is no longer as joyful because now it’s based on research, methods, keynotes, comparisons, and ‘appearances’.

I wonder, in this magical world of Web 2.0, how long we can all keep this up. Will we all wake up one day to realize that half of our lives have passed us by, that our children are grown and gone, wondering when it all happened? Or, will these tools we all love so much keep us connected in ways we can’t even yet imagine?