I am passionate about creating and I love online communities.  The last few years I’ve been using Second Life to create and build community in a place called Mill Pond.  It’s amazing to me to watch and learn how communities grow and change in virtual spaces – I love it.

Mill Pond started a few years ago as a community of a very few people who just wanted a defined space where they could collaborate to create a community that valued expression and creativity.  The start of this community was a coffee shop where people could engage in conversation and meet others from all over the world. Every renovation and remodel of Mill Pond has been based around this coffee shop because the goal of Mill Pond was to provide a relaxing, beautiful space where people could enjoy live music and intelligent conversation.  Crowds came and went at Mill Pond, and it became a place that was a great ’starting point’ for people new to Second Life and for those that valued the serenity of the environment.  Over the last few months, the crowds at Mill Pond have grown to numbers I would have never imagined and it seems that things started to take on a life of their own.

The crowd became different and although I had never felt the need to be specific about rules or guidelines for the space, I was now in a position where I felt I had to.  To my disappointment, though, posting the rules only caused more problems and led me to my decision that a renewal was in order.

Mill Pond was a very special place to lot of people for many years.  I met some truly fantastic, passionate, appreciative people in the time I spent there, and I am so thankful to know all of you – you are truly what makes Second Life and online communities the amazing places they can be.

I spend time in Second Life because I love creating and I value having a space where I can design, build and socialize with good friends. I will continue to use Second Life, but over the last few months, Mill Pond has become a place where I no longer enjoy spending time and that’s just not right.  I love to design spaces that make people want to spend time there, and I am so thrilled that so many of you felt so invested in and attached to the space and the friendships you made there, but the longer I continued to watch Mill Pond change, the longer I continued to make others happy while forsaking my own happiness… the more upset I became.

I do hope that everyone that enjoyed spending time at Mill Pond will be inspired to create their own spaces with their own vision. I enjoyed having you all play a part in my vision over the last few years.  Mill Pond will cease to exist, but a new region, new name, and new community will help my vision to be reborn.  Sometimes you have to put your own happiness above others, especially when creative expression is at stake.  I have spent years making others happy and it’s now time to focus on my happiness.

Social networking is like that hair commercial from the 70’s – “and they’ll tell their friend, and they’ll tell their friend, and so on, and so on….”.

Building true communities and connections online is a slow process.  You see people with thousands of ‘friends’ on twitter and Facebook and that’s great – but how many true, meaningful, caring connections are being made there? I’d wager not many.  Some people think that when you’re starting a new community online that you should just open it up and magically everyone will rush to participate and although that might be great, that’s just not how it typically happens.

When I think back to days on the BBS where I played L.O.R.D. or the chatrooms on IRC where I spent so much time, or the first spots I frequented in Second Life back in 2004 – they were small. Very few people were there at first, but little by little, one by one.. those communities would grow.  They grew because people had conversations and learned about others.  They gave us a place we felt welcomed and appreciated – a sense of belonging.  It was a slow process, but one that – at least for me- formed lasting friendships that still have me talking to those people even 10 years after leaving those communities for new ones.

If you want to build a strong, true, caring community that has genuine compassion and strength, you have to do it slowly, one by one, learning from each other. I’m convinced of it. Plus once you take the time to have those one-on-one conversations you learn things about people that might seem mundane in the whole huge scheme of things, but those small little things are what build connections.  Those hair commercials had it right all along.

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